by Sharon MacGregor
I am a freelance writer and columnist living in Sulllivan County. My husband and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary last year and are raising our two man-cubs with both old-fashioned and modern parenting styles. Another member of our family is our one-year old, yellow Lab, Maddy. I look forward to sharing a slice of our family life and family related news with the Hudson Valley Parent community!
Preparing your child for college? Your child will have probably taken the PSAT, Regents exams, SATs or ACTs, filled out applications and written essays with the hopes of being accepted to the school of their choice. The two of you will tour campuses and attend open houses to make sure you are happy with the colleges you are considering. As a parent, you may struggle to stay focused on the tasks at hand, because after all, one of your babies is temporarily leaving the nest and venturing out into the world without your direct supervision and guidance. Are you both emotionally ready? Take a deep breath.
In a way, you have been preparing for this moment since you child was little. Pre-school and play dates were the foundation for social interaction with others. Think of the first you’re your little one rode the great big school bus away from you. Elementary school also taught your child to go to the nurse’s office when they do not feel well, how to work with a group and how to find others with similar interests outside of the classroom. Junior high provided your child with a bit more freedom and at the same time more responsibility. No longer was the teacher checking to make sure assignments were packed up in back packs, classes were scheduled with a guidance counselor and electives were decided on as well. Socially, your child is probably spending more time away from you either through sleepovers, attending school sporting events or other activities. Though peer pressure was present through all phases to date, it can be most difficult in high school. Add in the stressful milestone of driving a car…take a deep breath again.
When you realize how far your child has already grown away from you and accept that it is just physical distance that will separate you now, you may feel some comfort knowing you have provided a strong base for them to continue their growth. It is your child’s job to become successfully independent and sending them off to college is an admirable beginning.
On the practical side, make arrangements for where and how your child may receive emergency medical care. Will your child be responsible to carry their own insurance card? How will your child access emergency cash or credit? Will you be sending care packages of snack foods, “beauty products” such as shampoo, deodorant or razors or will your child have a way to shop for these items on their own?
Yes, it will probably be emotional for you to leave your child at school. And though they may be excited about their next adventure, it will be for your child as well. To make the transition easier for you, establish times you will talk to your child via telephone, text or email. Set up a few dates when you will visit each other. Generally colleges have parent’s days and if your child is fairly local they may decide to come home one weekend per month or some other schedule. Remember all of the milestones your child has already reached and know this next step will be met with lifelong proof of success! Don’t forget to take a deep breath.